Feeling Overwhelmed? 5 Professional Hacks to Find Calm in the Chaos

Being overwhelmed is not unusual — especially in today’s world of working parents. Between the constant noise of life, professional demands, and family responsibilities that seem to multiply by the year, it’s no wonder so many of us are running on empty.

By the time we hit our thirties or forties, we’ve often collected dependents, increased home and professional responsibilities, perhaps even our own businesses. With more experience comes greater pressure — and while we’re juggling everything, it’s easy to forget that we’re human.

So, we rush from one task to the next, ticking boxes, holding things together, telling ourselves we’ll get a moment to rest later. Then, finally, we collapse on the sofa for what we call “downtime” — scrolling, snacking, or watching something half-heartedly with our spouses— before heading to bed far too late.

Sound familiar? This is what I like to call midnight rebellion — that stolen hour of freedom parents often claim at the end of the day, even when it steals precious sleep in return. Then the alarm rings, and the cycle starts again. And yet, we still haven’t had a quiet, calm moment to ourselves have we, there’s always constant noise and input for our brains doing overtime.

The problem isn’t that you can’t cope. It’s that there’s no space to think — no pause to take stock, breathe, and plan. Overwhelm thrives in cluttered minds. Calm begins when we stop, sit, and look at the bigger picture.

Hack #1: Lay It All Out in a Quiet Space

When everything feels tangled, clarity comes from getting it out of your head and into the open.

Take a moment — even just ten minutes — to find a quiet space (the car counts if that’s all you have!). Write down everything that’s circling in your mind: the to-dos, the worries, the “shoulds”. Then, next to each one, note what you actually know — the money you have saved, the time you can realistically spare, or who could help.

When you see it in front of you, the mountain often becomes a series of small, climbable hills. This simple act re-engages the rational part of your brain, pulling you out of emotional fog and back into a sense of control.

🩵 Professional insight: as an Osteopath, I often see how mental overload shows up physically — tight shoulders, shallow breathing, tension headaches. The moment patients start to externalise their thoughts and plan practically, their bodies begin to release. It’s as if the mind finally tells the body, you can exhale now.

Hack #2: Plan Your Week Eats

As a parent myself — and someone who’s recently realised that my own scattered focus might have a touch of ADHD (a discovery made while exploring the same patterns in my daughter!) — I know first-hand how easy it is to feel completely overwhelmed, when just the fact of half term commencing, can take you to what feels just below the surface of the raging sea of everyday life.

So here’s one simple, game-changing tip: take control of the everyday tasks that drain your brainpower. And one of the biggest culprits? Dinner.

You know that mind-numbing daily question: “What’s for dinner?” It sounds small, but when life’s already noisy, that one question can tip you over the edge.

A few years ago, I bought a great big chalkboard — a proper whopping one — and plonked it right on the kitchen wall. Every weekend, usually on a Sunday evening while I’m finalising my online food shop, I plan out the week’s meals.

Visual Meal Planning Boards are super useful for planning everyday meals.

It’s honestly been a game-changer. Everyone in the house now knows what’s for dinner, so they don’t need to ask (which, trust me, feels like a small miracle some days!).

Now, that’s not because I don’t want to talk to my family — far from it. I’d just much rather use that energy for positive, uplifting conversations about our day than fielding another practical question that lands squarely on my lap.

Even before having children, I used to dread getting home late, opening the fridge, and staring blankly into it — trying to magic up something easy, and attractive. Having a plan removes that end-of-day decision fatigue and makes the whole evening smoother.

Plus, meal planning helps you:

🟢 Eat better: you naturally choose healthier, balanced options when you plan ahead.
🟢 Save money: no random midweek top-up shops.
🟢 Reduce waste: no more bendy veg lurking in the drawer making you feel guilty.

A 10-minute planning session can make your week feel calmer, more organised, and genuinely more nourishing — physically and mentally.

But here’s the thing: it’s not just meals that need planning.
Your mental and emotional bandwidth need it too. Because even with the most organised home, healthy meals, and tidy to-do list — if you keep saying yes to everything, that calm will vanish faster than the Monday morning coffee.

Which brings us to the next step...

Hack #3: When to Say “No” and to delegate

It’s too easy to keep saying yes to things, that really, does it have to be you that does it? They do say if you want something done – ask a busy person. And yes, this is totally true. The busiest people are actually the ones continuously rushing about completing tasks, and are well used to piling another serving of ‘to do’ onto their plates.

In truth, a lot of us indeed thrive on the feeling of accomplishment and achievement – however, setting boundaries and task limitations is a project well done in itself.

But look at it this way: every “yes” you give is a “no” to something else. Often, it’s your rest, your headspace, or your peace that pays the price.

By saying no, you aren’t selfish; it’s strategic. It’s the act of protecting your finite energy so that you can show up better — not just more. Just because you might feel you have that time, doesn’t mean it’s always got to be you whilst someone else is quietly putting their feet up.

I learned this the hard way, both as a parent and in practice. I used to think I could stretch time, multitask harder, and just fit it all in. But burnout has a way of reminding you that your energy is a currency — and overspending it comes with interest.

So how to break the ‘yes’ cycle, guilt free:

🧩 1. Get clear on your priorities.
Write down your top three non-negotiables for the week — they might be family dinners, a date with your bestie, a training session, or simply a proper night’s sleep. Anything that constantly eats into those needs a review.

💬 2. Practice “soft nos.”
You don’t always have to give a hard stop. Try: “I’d love to, but not this week,” or “Can I get back to you once I’ve checked what’s already on my plate?” These phrases buy time and protect your mental space.

❤️ 3. Check your body’s response.
Before saying yes to something, notice how it feels. Do your shoulders tense? Does your stomach tighten? That’s your body telling you your bandwidth is already full.

🩵 Professional insight: As an Osteopath, I see the physical cost of chronic overcommitment all the time — tension patterns, shallow breathing, jaw clenching. The body doesn’t lie. When your schedule is too full, your muscles will tell the story your mouth avoids.

Boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re safety rails. Saying no gives you the breathing room to say yes to what truly matters — your health, your relationships, your peace of mind.

So next time that inner voice says “should”, pause and ask instead, “need”.

Hack #4: Sleep is your superpower

As we mentioned earlier, that “midnight rebellion” pattern we so easily fall into needs to be broken — not our sleep.

Research continues to confirm what most of us already feel deep down: when sleep suffers, everything else does too. One review found that just a single night without sleep significantly impairs executive function — including sustained attention, reaction time, and working memory. Another large study showed that people who sleep around seven hours a night perform best on cognitive tasks, while performance drops when sleep hours fall either above or below this sweet spot.

In other words: sleep isn’t a luxury, it’s brain maintenance.

Yet in modern life, most adults are chronically underslept. We trade rest for late-night TV, scrolling, or that quiet hour of peace after the children finally go to bed. Then, the alarm goes off, and we power through — caffeine first, clarity later.

The problem is, our brains never truly reset. When sleep debt becomes a pattern rather than a one-off, the consequences reach far beyond fatigue. Chronic sleep deprivation has been linked to increased risks of cognitive decline, dementia, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and depression.

During deep sleep, the brain activates its built-in “cleaning system” — known as the glymphatic system. This remarkable process clears away toxins and metabolic waste, including beta-amyloid, a protein strongly associated with Alzheimer’s disease. When we consistently cut sleep short, that system doesn’t get the time it needs to do its job. Over time, waste builds up, and the risk of neurodegenerative disease rises.

Sleep also recalibrates our hormones — balancing cortisol, regulating appetite, and supporting emotional control. Without it, our stress response stays switched on, and everything feels harder: thinking clearly, managing children’s moods, even handling the small frustrations of daily life.

🩵 Professional insight: I often see in practice how poor sleep amplifies physical tension. The neck and shoulders tighten, posture changes, and headaches become more frequent. The body can’t repair what the brain hasn’t had time to process. True rest is physical, mental, and chemical — and it starts with quality sleep.

So tonight, instead of staying up for “one more episode” or a late-night scroll, treat yourself to what your body actually craves: deep, uninterrupted sleep. It’s not indulgence — it’s the most powerful act of self-care you can choose.

🌙 Your Sleep Reset Toolkit

Because knowing why sleep matters is one thing — but finding how to make it happen in real life is another.
Here are a few small, evidence-backed habits that genuinely make a difference:

🕯️ 1. Set a “Reverse Alarm”
Most of us set alarms to wake up — but try setting one to remind you to start winding down. Aim for about an hour before bed. When it rings, switch off bright screens, dim the lights, and let your body begin its descent into rest mode.
Why it works: Lower light and stimulation help your brain increase melatonin — the hormone that signals it’s time for sleep.

💡 A quick note on blue light:
Phones, tablets, and laptops emit high-energy blue light, which directly suppresses melatonin production. Even short bursts of blue light exposure before bed can trick your brain into thinking it’s daytime, delaying the onset of sleep. Reducing screen use or using blue light filters can significantly improve sleep quality.

💤 2. Work With, Not Against, Your Natural Rhythm
In Why We Sleep, neuroscientist Matthew Walker explains that we are each born with a genetically programmed circadian rhythm — our body’s internal clock — designed so that as a community, there were always people awake to watch for danger while others slept. This rhythm can’t be fully rewritten; you can only shift it by about an hour either way.

That’s why finding what works for you within the constraints of daily life is essential. Whether you’re naturally an early riser or a night owl, maintaining a consistent routine — waking and sleeping at roughly the same times each day — is key to good-quality sleep.

Training your brain to wind down with regular cues helps enormously: dimming the lights, enjoying a calming wash routine, and sipping a low-sugar, soothing evening drink — like a warm Slopes Hot Chocolate — can signal your nervous system that it’s time to power down. Over time, these cues become powerful triggers for rest.

🌿 3. Let Your Morning Light Set the Tone
Ten minutes of natural light exposure within an hour of waking can dramatically improve nighttime sleep quality. Step outside with your morning coffee, or open the curtains wide while you get the kids ready.

If it’s summer or the weather allows, try leaving one curtain slightly open so natural light can filter in and gently wake you — far more peaceful than the jolt of a blaring alarm. In the darker winter months, a sunrise alarm clock that mimics natural dawn light can create a similar effect, easing you into the day instead of shocking your nervous system awake.
Why it works: Morning light resets your circadian rhythm and helps regulate both energy and sleep hormones.

💤 *Small changes add up. When you start prioritizing sleep, everything else gets a little easier: focus, patience, mood, and even that sense of calm we’re all chasing.*

Hack #5: Communicate

Speaking to someone about how you’re feeling can make a huge difference. It sounds simple, but when life is busy and you’re in survival mode, it’s often the last thing you think to do.

Many of us carry the weight of daily responsibilities quietly — assuming others can see we’re struggling, when in reality, they often can’t. Your partner, friends, or family may be completely unaware of how thinly stretched you feel, perhaps attributing your low energy or short fuse to stress, hormones, or just a “bad week”.

But here’s the truth: you’re not a superhero, and you’re not supposed to do it all alone.

Communicating how you feel isn’t a weakness; it’s a pressure release valve. When you talk openly, you allow others to understand what’s really going on rather than misinterpreting your silence or irritability. Sometimes, just saying something out loud helps your brain reframe it — it stops being an overwhelming swirl of thoughts and becomes something tangible you can manage.

🩵 Professional insight: In my treatment room, it’s not unusual for patients to open up about the challenges they’re facing beyond their physical pain. What begins as a lower back treatment can often turn into a conversation about how pain has rippled into other areas of life — struggling to carry a child, getting dressed, or managing the day ahead. I’ve seen women burst into tears when describing how their pain limits them, while men are more likely to show frustration or anger. The emotion may differ, but what’s unanimous is the sense of despair that comes when pain interrupts daily function.

This emotional release isn’t just cathartic — it’s therapeutic. Once patients start to verbalise the impact of their pain, the tension in their bodies often begins to ease. It’s a reminder that communication doesn’t only support the mind; it helps the body to heal too.

And it’s important to remember: asking for help isn’t failure, it’s resourcefulness. It’s recognising that you have people, systems, and supports around you for a reason. Utilising those resources is what helps you function sustainably — not burning yourself out to prove you can cope alone.

If you find it hard to open up, start small. Tell someone you trust that you’re finding things a bit much. You don’t have to have a solution or a tidy ending — just a conversation. Sometimes what we need most isn’t advice, but empathy and a reminder that we’re not alone in the chaos.

And if your current circle doesn’t feel like a safe space, there are still ways to reach out — a therapist, a coach, a colleague, or even a supportive online community. The act of sharing connects you back to humanity, which is often what’s missing when we feel most overwhelmed.

Because calm doesn’t only come from solitude and self-care; sometimes it comes from connection — from being heard. We are afterall, as well demonstrated by the pandemic lockdowns in 2020 & 2021, social animals that need interaction and a community of support to really thrive.

A final word 🌿

We can’t change the world we live in — the noise, the pace, the endless to-do lists — but we can change how we meet it and show up a better version of ourselves.
Calm isn’t about escaping your responsibilities; it’s about creating breathing space between them. It’s giving yourself permission to pause, to rest, to say no, to sleep, to share how you really feel.

Each small, intentional act — laying things out, planning ahead, resting properly, or asking for help — adds up to a steadier, clearer version of you. And in that space, you’ll find that calm was never lost; it was simply waiting for you to slow down long enough to hear it.

Because even in chaos, you can choose calm.

This piece was Written by Bernitta Willoughby— Osteopath, wellness writer, Mother, Community Group Chairlady & a chronic ‘yes’-er.
She shares real-world ways to bring calm and clarity into everyday life through a mix of science, self-awareness, and practical wisdom. ✨